


My Lord, My Speaker

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Asexual!Itachi, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Genderfluid!Sakura, Humor, Humour, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I literally care zero percent who is dominant in the relationship so there will be none of that, I only sort of know where I am going with this, ItaKuraIta, M/M, Maybe a lil angst??, Multi, Other, SakuInoSaku, SasuNaruSasu - Freeform, So be warned, but it's fun, i am very gay and there were no where near enough queer feminine characters so here you go, they all p gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura's a god. Tsunade's uselessly powerful. Naruto doesn't know what's happening. Sasuke just doesn't care anymore. Ino, well, no one is really sure what she is doing, because she is being ignored, right now. (SakuIno & SasuNaruSasu)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fic for the Naruto fandom, and I am a little nervous to upload it. Also, it should be noted that this story will become gay as heck (and other LGBT) so please take note before reading if that is not your cup of tea.  
> If anyone would like to betaread for me, that would be fantastic!  
> Thank you so much for reading, and please review :)
> 
> I will try to update in every week or two. Next chapter will be up the 14th of October :)

_See, my issue with you humans is, you're all kind of obsessed with the concept of a chosen one. It's like an infestation of chosen people, they're everywhere. For all different things, too, “It is my destiny to marry the king.” “I was chosen to lead the people.” “The gods decided she will be the sacrifice.” Fate, Destiny, yada yada yah._

_Me, personally, I pick my "Chosen Ones," my Speakers, with a role of the dice. It doesn’t bother me who Speaks as I never had anything to say to humans. There is no 'chosen' aspect to it, it’s a ceremonial figurehead, an important useless role, that someone has to do, and I don't care who._

_Thing is, when you leave humans off to their own devices, they start lying. Apparently, my desire for material possessions is high. I am especially fond of gold and human currencies._

_Ha ha. No. I am beyond earthly desires. I am practically a god._

_I don't want to talk to my Speaker._

_But, jeez, she's going to bankrupt the entire country._

_Maybe next time, I should put a bit more effort in finding a Speaker, eh?_

_Let's create a chosen one._

* * *

 

Tsunade looked tired, she was bent over stacks over papers, mumbling. _Maybe she’s finally doing work._ Sakura thought, with hope. While she didn't particularly care for the lives of humans, she couldn't have them starving to death, that would just be cruel.

She peered over Tsunade and looked down at the papers. _Nope, just gay porn. Okay._

“This is terrible, I swear, his writing is getting worse.” Tsunade mumbled to herself.

“Hey!” Sakura sat on the medic’s lap. “Sooo, what are you reading?”

Tsunade just adjusted the book so she could see it again and kept reading. “Jiraiya's latest. It is making me sad. For humanity. Bestseller, yeah right.”

“Um, right, so, anyway... Tsunade-san, you are sort of pushing my country to bankruptcy.” Using respectful speech while delivering bad news seemed wise.

“What are you talking about? The Temple brought in two and a half million this month alone.”

“It doesn't work when the money we are gaining is our own country's taxes.”

“Really?”

“Do you just not understand how economies work?”

Tsunade was starting to get defensive. Tsunade was dangerous, even for a immortal entity. “I think I am doing pretty well,” she said.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh, and,” she reached over to the desk and picked up the ledger, “you requested ten thousand copies of Icha Icha Girl's Love for what exactly?”

“I lost a bet to Jiraiya. I had to buy the entire first printing of his new book.” As if that was the most reasonable and necessary expense for a Temple dedicated to the service of a deity.

“You know I respect you...” That was true, Tsunade was probably the only human Sakura really trusted.

“You'd better. I've saved you enough times.”

“...but you are a rubbish Speaker and you need to retire.”

“Do I get to keep living in the Temple?” Tsunade seemed to be less concerned than Sakura had hoped she would, she watched as her eyes just followed the lines of the book, not even looking up.

“Uh...I see no reason why not.”

“Then I am fine with it.” Sakura realised how little control she had over the old doctor.

“Glad that's sorted. Now when you leave could you take all those ruddy work papers out? Thankfully I won't be need them again.”

 _I don't feel a speck of remorse coming from Tsunade. Why does nobody take my Speaker position seriously? FEEL HONOR, YOU MEASLY HUMANS. BE DEPRESSED WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR JOB. LITTLE EMOTION, PLEASE._  Sakura thought as she sighed, leaving the room. Tsunade was never really up for positions of political power. She only became Speaker because of her past with The Lord and Temple. She had saved both. Many times. So, when Tsunade had come up to Sakura and told her that she was going to become the new Speaker and would be living in the Temple from now on, Sakura had no reason to say no.

Sakura had lived peacefully without talking to Tsunade for twelve years, but her country was wavering dangerously in the red. While she didn't particularly care about humans, she couldn't have them starving; she wasn't that cruel. Usually.

This resulted in her having to actually speak to her Speaker. To fire her.

Tsunade didn't care. Of course she didn’t, why was Sakura surprised? And now she was stuck with 9,999 terribly written adult novels stacked in boxes in the backroom of her Temple. Lovely. _I should kick her out. Leave her homeless for a couple months. See how she reacts then._ But Sakura wouldn't. Tsunade was the only human she truly respected, from the bottom of her heart, despite her obvious financial flaws.

 _I don't want to go look for a new Speaker. I need to go look for a new Speaker. I am not responsible. I need someone responsible, no more Tsunades._ Sakura breathed out. A puff of white smoke.  Sakura was in human male form. It was easier for her to walk around as a man. It had to do with the patriarchy. That's right, shakes fist at sky, the patriarchy! It seemed like such a fantastical thing to Sakura: gender.

If you were born a male you had instant rights in society. She asked her third to latest Speaker about it once. He just sputtered, stuttering something about stronger and larger.

Ha. A whale also fits those prerequisites, that doesn't mean you should have a council of whales leading your country.

Well… maybe that would be a good idea. You don't hear much about whales being millions of pounds of gold in debt. Also their ratio of civil wars in comparison to humans is brilliantly low.

Perhaps whales would make good leaders.

Back to gender, by the human standards, Sakura preferred a female form. She aligned more the feminine characteristics and she just felt female, but she would usually change her biological form to whatever suited her best in the dependent social situation. At the moment, that was a man.

She stretched, and pushed a hand through her pink hair. She did like her hair better short though.

* * *

 

The pub; that would be the perfect place to find new religious leaders! Sakura swung open the bar door and sucked in the smell of smoke and sweat. The first words she heard were, “I CAN TOO SWALLOW A SWORD, BELIEVE IT!” _Yeah, okay, tell me how that ends._

As she looked for a seat, an arm was tossed over her shoulder, “I hear you’re looking for a new Speaker.”

She shook the arm off and refused to let any surprise show on her face, “You’ve been looking back at middle age with fondness for years, I wouldn’t count you as ‘new’.” She pulled out a stool at the bar and waved at the tender, “Cuppa tea, and whatever this witch wants.” She slapped down two coins.

Ino sighed dramatically, and flicked the forehead of her ex. “Hops, please.” she said to the barmaid, with a wink, then turned back to Sakura, “And you don’t even remember middle age.”

Sakura gasped in mock indignation, they were such a theatrical couple. “Come on, Sakura, humans have tiny, little memories, they aren’t going to remember I’m not human. I would be an excellent Speaker.” Two hundred and something years ago, Ino had been the Speaker, but after fifty years in the role without aging, the people got a little suspicious and threw her out as a witch. When Sakura had done absolutely nothing to stop them, Ino decided their relationship was over and just left, disappeared from the face of the Earth.

“Don’t you have a toad to brew?”

“Don’t be like that.” she whined, as a pint was set down in front of her.

“I’ve got to find a new Speaker, leave me alone, Ino.” She stood up, tea in hand, her exit was interrupted by hacking and gagging in the corner, and a few ‘OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY??’s.

The internal conflict of ‘I’m a medic’ and ‘I bet it’s that idiot who wants to swallow the sword, his genes should be left to die’ was a difficult one, each side has reasonable points. Sakura sighed resignedly, “Out of the way, doctor here.” She had lost track of where Ino had gone, but it wasn’t top priority now anyway.

There was a black haired man whispering ‘Idiot, dobe, moron, what were you doing, idiot, moron, dobe’. Sakura was inclined to agree, but she pushed the man out of the way and looked at the patient.

 

He was a stocky blond, three scars across each of his cheek; interesting. Sakura propped him up, and spoke slowly, “Slight perforation of the esophagus, not bad, he’s fine, most pain came from initial wound, you’ll be fi-” Before she could even finish the word Black Hair smacked the blond.

“You’re an idiot.” The barmaid who had been watching the carefully for a while gasped, Sakura just watched.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, jerk.” His eyes flicked to Sakura, “I’m Naruto, by the way, thanks. And this” he jerked a thumb towards Black Hair, “he’s Sascakes.” Black Hair didn’t even deny it, he just rolled his eyes.

“What an adorable name.” She stood up and turned to leave, “I’ll be off then, maybe no more sword-swallowing in the foreseeable future, eh?”

“Yessir. I’ve gotta thank you some way! Do you want ramen? I work at a ramen place, it’s awesome! We’ve got pork, miso, salt...”

Black Hair subtly shook his head as Naruto rattled off, warning Sakura ‘no, it’s not’.

“No tha…”

“WE’D LOVE TO, THANKS FOR THE OFFER.” Ino shouted, jumping on Sakura. “I’m Ino, this is Orochi.” Ooo, that was a dirty trick to play. Orochi was one of her brothers. The worst, bloody one.

Sakura swallowed, “Screw you, Ino. I’m Sakura...so, Naruto and…?”

“Sasuke.” If he thought her feminine name was at all odd, he didn’t say anything.

“Brilliant. Now that we are all acquainted, where was that ramen place you were referring to?”

“Who are… never mind, anyway,” Naruto jumped up like he hadn’t just choked on a sword, “IT’S AMAZING, YOU’LL LOVE IT. THERE ARE…”

 

“You pig.” Sakura hissed in Ino’s ear as they entered the establishment, passing a giant orange sign: RAMEN ICHICAKU. There was no one inside, there was a bar and a few tables, but not a single person. “Would you do anything for food? Too bad I didn’t know that when we were courting.”

“What the heck is courting?” Naruto appeared between them.

Naruto was a little annoying, she decided, as Sasuke pulled him away, whispering angrily at him, possibly defining ‘courting’. He was cute, but his friend was mouth-fall-open-world-ending gorgeous, so, in comparison, his looks didn’t do much to hide the personality. They led the way to the bar and Sasuke sat down, gesturing to the two stools next to him. Naruto went behind the bar and into the kitchen, presumably to whip up some ramen for the four of them.

She pulled a stool out for Ino to sit in, before seating herself, “Tsk tsk, what a gentlemen,” her ex laughed.

She nodded to Sasuke, “I’m going to go change, be back in a minute.” Ino’s eyes widened a bit, catching her meaning, but the surprise was quickly hidden. Sasuke probably didn’t even hear, he was too busy trying to catch a glimpse of Naruto in the kitchen.

She pushed through the curtain to the restroom. Smoke filled the tiny space as she transformed. Her feminine form was back. Sakura arched her back, and stretched her hands over her head. She lost a good 10cm from her male form, she was now shorter than Ino.

As she left the bathroom, she removed the swagger from her step, and replaced it with a swaying of the hips. She wet her lips as she nodded to Ino, earning her attention, who was trying to flirt the pants off Sasuke, but stopped the second she saw Sakura. Looking shameful, like a caught pet.

There were three bowls of ramen, one in front of each seat, besides Sasuke, who clearly was not interested in food. The seating went Naruto, Sasuke, Ino. Sakura pulled out the stool next to Ino, which had a piping bowl of salt ramen next to it.

“Um, sorry! That seat is taken! But you can come sit next to me!” Naruto called out, two seats over. Not even bothering to wonder how this ‘new person’ had gotten inside.

“Different body, same person.” She muttered as she blew on her ramen, carefully trying some. It was good.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in curiosity, tensing a little. Impressing skill in keeping calm.

A skill Naruto did not share. “WHAT? THAT IS SO COOL. WEIRD. COOL. LIES. WHAT?”

“We’ve managed to invite some very interesting people to dinner.” Sasuke smirked, looking Sakura up and down, not checking her out, but in an, almost, analytical way.

“I agree, and I’ve taken a fancy to you both, and I am bored. So, I was wondering, do you know what the Lord is?”

Ino was sputtering on her ramen, “You aren’t, but, me, I, them? Why?” Sakura loved the way Ino. After two centuries of not seeing each other, Sakura would love to start something again, but it was just too suspicious that she had showed up right after Sakura had fired Tsunade. Besides, these two would make a lovely Speaker, if she could convince them.

“Is there anyone who doesn’t?” Sasuke replied, giving nothing away. He was holding Naruto’s wrist rather tightly though, a silent implore not to say a word.

“Well, you have been given the wonderful honor of meeting him personally.”

 

Sasuke and Sakura gave one another a toothy grin (for very similar reasons). Ino and Naruto both looked they were about to have a heart attack (for completely different reasons).

 _I have never been more confused._ Thought Naruto.

 _That cow. I will be the next Speaker. You wait, Forehead._ Thought Ino.

 _What a wonderful start to negotiations._ Thought Sakura and Sasuke.


	2. I Don't Know, Chapter Two

Naruto had no bloody idea what was going on. Sasuke clearly did, because he giving now-suddenly-girl-Sakura a smirk.

Now-girl-Sakura was returning the expression.

The blonde girl that Naruto had forgotten the name of looked like she was ready to strangle Sakura.

All this meant one thing: He was out of the loop.

“WAIT, WAIT. Can everyone just stop for a minute?”

Two pairs of impatient, irritated eyes snapped over to him. Sakura just answered calmly. “Lovely to re-meet you, Mr. Naruto. I am the Lord Sakura, Emperor of this country.”

Naruto stood there, mouth dropping a bit. “I…”

Ino flicked her eyes back away from him, still looking annoyed. She pinched Sakura’s arm, not even bothering to hide the movement from him and Sasuke. “I am Ino, the greatest of the Bijuu, Matatabi, the Two Tails. The Lady of the Bakeneko, the…”

“Yes, thank you, Ino, such a long introduction will not be necessary.” Sakura said, patronisingly.

“Go to hell, Sak’ra.” Ino hissed. Sasuke had watched them all, looking fairly blasé, for someone who just met a god. Naruto was falling out of his chair, trying to push Sasuke out of the way for a better view of the two mythical creatures in his restaurant.

Sasuke’s monotone voice finally gifted them with its presence. “And what do you want, _Sakura_?” There was not a hint of respect in his voice.

She didn’t seem to mind, “Brilliant, so we’re going to talk, then?”

“No, _we_ aren’t, let’s go, Forehead, come on.”

“I need a new Speaker. Someone who isn’t going to bankrupt my country,” she eyed Naruto, “And also someone who won’t go power hungry.” She looked at Sasuke meaningfully. Her cold reading of each of them was exact.

Before Naruto could make his complaints about the bankrupt comment, Ino spoke, “And I fulfill both of the requirements, so there is no reason to be here, let’s go.” She picked up her bowl and slurped down the rest of her ramen.

“You’ve had your chance.” It was not Sakura that said this. Sasuke didn’t even spare a glance to Ino, and kept staring intently at Sakura. “Why are you here talking to me about it?” he asked, “I mean, all you know about me is I am friends with a guy who swallows swords for fun. That is it.”

“First of all, change all those singular pronouns to ‘we’ and ‘us’ because I want both of you. Second of all, have you looked in a mirror lately? Who wouldn’t want two of the,” she stopped to wink, “loveliest men in the Five Nations to be serving in their temple? Third, I’m really very bored, and you both seem like fun. Anyone who swallows a sword on a dare, and anyone who lets their friend do so, are people that I need surrounding me, because clearly you live interesting lives.”

“ _Both of them?_ You want _both of them_?” Ino was being ignored, and it was not doing much for the improvement of her mood.

Naruto was still having a heart attack in his chair. But at the mention of his looks, he perked up, “You’re SO PRETTY, Sakura! Also, are you a guy?”

Sasuke just quietly eyed Sakura, thinking. “What _exactly_ does a Speaker do?”

“You don’t know?” Sakura asked, a little surprised.

“We’re from… out of town.”

“Obviously. Okay, the Speaker…” Sakura cast an annoyed look at both Ino and Naruto who were continually interrupting, “Mummy and Daddy have to talk about grown-up matters now, entertain yourselves.” She snapped her fingers. Smoke.

 

Sasuke coughed and looked around. He was no longer in Ichiraku’s. Or… they were, but it was slightly off. The red colors in the restaurant looked muted. Ino and Naruto were both gone. Sakura still sat a seat down from him. She was staring at him intently. “A Speaker is, by purpose, my mouthpiece. The person who imparts my direction and laws to the common people.”

“Where are we? Where is Naruto?” His voice was calm anger.

“Saaasuke-kun, that’s not nice, you should just focus on me when we’re alone.” He glared at her, an ‘I-will-tear-you-apart-unless-you-tell-me-what’s-going-on-right-now’ glare. “Fine, fine, they’re still here, you just can’t see them. We are in a mental plane.”

“I don’t know what that means.” Sasuke said, holding his cool.

“We’re not really in a different place, we’re just inside my head. So we can talk in peace. I think if I give you the information, it will get passed to by other recruit just fine.”

“Understood, but I’m not promising anything. Why do you need new ones?”

“New Speakers?” She asked. Sasuke nodded. “Well, technically, it’s a singular job, one Speaker, directed by one Lord. The thing is, I no longer care about the internal affairs, and I don’t want to have to be stuck in one spot to take care of your little lives.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I set up the Lord/Speaker arrangement when I was much younger, and it was fun to play god. But, now,” she laughed, almost bitterly, “I’m old.”

Sasuke snorted, “I would say you looked my age, but the appearance fools.”

“Sasuke-kun, I will be any age you want.” She winked, and gave a smile, before continuing, “I’ve been wandering for years, and now, coming back, I’ve found the Speaker I hired years ago is bankrupting Konoha. I can’t have that, even if it is a matter of pride. Konoha cannot be the _least_ wealthy of the countries.” She sighed, thinking of Tsunade, the woman was a miracle doctor, and the greatest human she had ever had the honour of knowing, but… “My Speaker before this one caused _two_ civil wars and over 100 rebellions during his time of holding the position, one, I found out, strangled his predecessor for the position. One required a virgin woman every night. One started wars with all the other nations _at the same time._ Like, my random selection technique hasn’t been working great.”

“So you want to find a new Speaker. And you decide the best way to find someone trustworthy is go to the seediest pub in the five nations.” Sasuke said dryly.

“Listen, cutie-pie,” Black Hair immediately cringed at the nickname, “I’ve tried choosing Speakers at my temples, in hospitals, off the front lines of my army, and after all this, I haven’t found a single good one.” Good _leader_ , she clarified in her head. Both Tsunade and (although she was hesitant to admit it) Ino fit into the category of good people. Ino wasn’t even that bad of a Speaker, she just wasn’t _human_ which seemed to be a pretty big deal to _other humans._ “I don’t think it’s because humans are inherently bad, but because _power_ is inherently bad. Power over others.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes again. “I think you and Naruto balance each other out perfectly.” She snickered, before regaining her composure. “I’ve never been good at reading people, as my track record shows, but I don’t know, maybe having two Speakers will help.”

“I still don’t know what the Speaker does.”

“You get to tell people what to do. It’s called a Speaker, because for some ridiculous reason, when I was young, I thought it would be _cool_ to only talk to one person, and give out my demands through them. They are a Speaker because they Speak for me. What they say is Law. My Law.”

Sasuke was looking perfectly calm, but Sakura could see his black eyes swirling with the possibilities.  
“And you want both Naruto and I?”

“Yeah,” Sakura looked like she was about to laugh as she said this, her eyes sparkling.

“Why?”

“Like I said, two Speakers will probably be better than one, right?”

“Or it could create one of the worst civil wars. You said Konoha’s had them before. They would be worse if there were two people equally leading Konoha.”

“Eh, I’m sure it will work out.” She shrugged.

Sasuke gave her a look of doubt. “I want a full list of the work for a Speaker.”

Sakura snapped her fingers, a piece of paper appearing in her hand. “We’re in my head, after all.” She handed Sasuke the list.

_Demand One_

_If your Lord and Master, better known as Sakura, wants you to do anything, you do it._

_Demand Two_

_Do king/leader/ruler-like things. I don’t really know what that entails. But basically don’t do anything dumb, that will cause trouble for the people who live in Konoha, my country._

_Demand Three_

_The Speaker is above Hokage in some ways, equal in others, and lesser in a few. Do your best to cooperate with the Hokage (I think the current Hokage’s name is... Kaka? Keke? Kookoo? I don’t know, something like that. He’s brilliant though, I can’t figure out if I like him or not.)_

_Demand Four_

_The Hokage is in control of all external/out-of-Konoha matters and all the shinobi/police in Konoha. The Speaker is control of all laws, taxes, internal affairs, things like that._

_Demand Five_

_Each of the five countries has a Speaker except Sunaga. Their leader, Gaara, performs the role of both Speaker and Kage. As Konoha’s Speaker, you will be expected to interact peacefully and diplomatically with all the Speakers of the other countries, including Gaara._

 

_Benefit One_

_You get secret powers that I will disclose when you (and Naruto!!!) agree to become my Speakers._

Sasuke’s eyes scanned the paper, rereading it a couple times. “Eloquent.”

“I thought so, thank you so much Sasuke-kun, you’re so sweet.” Sakura jumped into the stool next to him, hugging his arm.

“Secret powers, eh?”

“Ah, yes, much secret, very power.” Sasuke looked at her as if she had lost her head. “Sorry, a terrible joke from a different dimension.” He just rolled his eyes, AGAIN. This was at least the fifth time during their interaction. They had known each other for an hour and a half, max. Amazing.

“Alright, I accept. Naruto does, too.”

“You’re not going to even ask him?”

“He follows me around like a lost puppy.” Sasuke shrugged.

“Brilliant, I look forward to spending a couple _decades with you, Sasuke-kun._ ” Sakura snapped her fingers. Sasuke almost gagged, whether from her flirting or the smoke that instantly filled the air was unknown. Probably both.

 

* * *

 

Ino rubbed her eyes to get the smoke out of them. Naruto was coughing. _Honestly, I have no idea what she is thinking._ She thought as she looked Naruto over. Tears were running down his eyes as he screamed about sneak attacks.

She was sitting in between the emptied bodies of Sakura and Sasuke. They bodies were both staring blankly ahead. She knew exactly what was happening. “Sakura…” she sighed.

Naruto was violently shaking the body of Sasuke. “SASUUUUKEHHHH. WAKE UP!”

Ino shook her head, resisting the urge to cover her ears. She punched him, gently, in the arm. “He’s fine. Calm down, and I’ll explain.”

“He’s not fine! He’s clearly not fine! This blank stare is different from his usual indifferent stare! Sasukeehhh!”

Ino smacked him again, “He _is_ fine. He’s consciousness is in Sakura’s mind right now.”

“EHHH? HE’S WHAT?

“They are just talking.” _About_ my _job._

“About what??”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re very high strung? Very loud person.”

“I am not!” Naruto pouted, “But, really, Sasuke’s okay?”  
“Yeah, he’s fine.”

“He’s inside of Sakura’s mind?”

“Yes, it’s just a way of talking in private.”

“Why in private?”

“Because you’re a loudmouth, and I would probably kill her if I could hear her.”

“Oh.”

“Do you understand what _she_ wants you to do?” Ino spat. She was frustrated with Sakura. It had taken her two hundred years to build up the courage to come back to see her ex, to reopen the interaction between the two, and now, well… Maybe it was partially her fall, her opening introduction had not been ideal. When Ino had made her way back to the Konoha Main Temple and saw the firing of Tsunade, the temptation to become Speaker again was overwhelming.

When she was chased out of Konoha with pitchforks and fire, so many centuries ago, Ino had been furious and heartbroken. She had firmly expected Sakura to help her.

“Yeah, I do! I know exactly.”

“Oh, really?”

“YEAH! Believe it!”

“Then please explain to me.”

“Uh...well...you see… Speaker… god?... HOKAGE!”

“Yes, very nicely put, may I rephrase, for you?”

“Uh, yes.”

“Sakura is the Lord of this country. She is His Majesty. The God of Konoha.” Naruto noted Ino had a preference for the dramatic listing of titles. “By the Laws of the Lords created thousands of years ago, a Lord can only talk to their country through a Speaker. The only exception being Sunaga. They do not have a Speaker, only a Kage. He basically does the same thing though.

“Anyway, because a Lord can only talk through a Speaker, it is important to find one that will be loyal.”  
“Sooo, Sakura is actually one of the Lords, and she can shapeshift from a lady to a man?” Everyone had heard of the five Lords. Every child heard the stories during the night, whether from loving parents whispering quietly, or from hisses and fearful remarks in the filthy, cold alleys, or anything in between. They were the original creators of the five nations. The creators of human civilization. Insane power personified.

“Exactly. Though the myths and legends built up around the Lords are mostly false. They are a bunch of lazy bums who didn’t want to deal with the infestation of humans so they created someone to deal with it.”

“I am not confused, at all, just so you know. I just want to make sure you know what you are talking about.” Naruto assured her.

Ino smiled, irritating though he was, Naruto was adorable. “Of course.” She continued her story, “Recently. This morning, in fact. Tsunade, the current Speaker, was ‘fired’. The official ceremony will be conducted later, but that doesn’t matter.

“Anyway, Sakura needs a new Speaker, before she can formally dispose of Tsunade. And she thinks you and your _gorgeous_ black haired friend will be excellent an excellent Speaker.”

“But there are two of us. And, and, you said one.”

“I’m not really sure what her plan is for that, Sakura can be odd. But she gets her way.” Ino sighed, “I was her Speaker, you know, for fifty ye…” She stopped when she saw Naruto’s attention was lost. He was finishing slurping up his ramen, not so much as glancing at her. His focus was absorbed by the ramen. His adorableness was in question, in her eyes.

“That’s all cool and all, but we won’t do it.” Naruto mumbled, his mouth full.

Ino was surprised, “Why not?”

“Sasuke is chasing his brother down. I mean, um, there’s this guy, named Itachi. And he’s mean. And we’re hunting him down. So, see? We’re far too busy to be talking.”

“Hmm…” Sakura could be very persuasive. She was curious how that would turn out. “Alright, tell me your story then. Tell me all about gorgeous boy’s brother and how you fit in it.”

Naruto choked on his ramen, “It’s not really that important… Just an adventure” he said, then he shrugged. His mediocre attempt at uncaring shattered and he gave a broad grin, as Ino turned her ‘flirty’ eyes on him (centuries in the making, mind you). He did not say anything more on the topic of Sasuke and his brother though, he just started rattling on about ramen and all the places throughout the five nations that he had tried some.

Ino just smiled, not pressing the issue, and listening to the varying ramen Naruto had consumed. Some things were personal.

 

Smoke filled the room. Again. “SAKURA! DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DANG DRAMATIC?”

Sakura widened her eyes, as if just waking up. She stretched her hands over her head. “Ino. It’s not drama when it’s natural.”

“What does that even mean?”

Sasuke and Naruto were both coughing, but when Naruto saw his friend’s body move again he jumped on him, “SASUKEEEHH! You’re back!”

“Get off, dobe.” Sasuke muttered shoving him off.

Sakura smiled at them, “WELL, I’m sure you both have a lot to talk about, so Ino,” she shoved Ino in the ribs, “and I,” Ino pushed her back, “will go now.” Sakura stood up.

“Oh, thank you for the ramen, Naruto. It was excellent.”  
“You didn’t even try it.” Ino whispered in her ear.

“Tsk tsk, I am talking about the visual portion of it.” Sakura whispered back.

“I KNOW IT’S GREAT, RIGHT? Seeee, Sasuke?”

“Hn.”

The two women stood and made their exit. “We have a lot to talk about, too.” Ino hissed as they started on the road back to the Temple.

“Yeah. I suppose we do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First deadline and already two days late, I think I've got this author-thing down.  
> No, I really am terribly sorry, I was sick, and I didn't even bother to post it even though I had it completed, so my bad!  
> Review to shame me, eh (also, telling me what you think would be great)? Thanks for reading :)  
> I still need a beta-reader so if anyone wants to help... :)
> 
> Thank You so much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot. I squeal. Literally. It's embarrassing. My family is worried for me. SO KEEP DOING IT, thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto jumped out of the chair so fast it was still spinning. Sasuke hated it when Naruto was like this. Touchy-feely. Ick. “Get off, dobe.” He shoved him off. Sakura and the blonde one started leaving. He would not miss them. It was interesting though. He had just agreed to be a Speaker in a country he had never been in. 

“I KNOW IT’S GREAT, RIGHT? See, Sasuke???”   
“Hn.” Sasuke didn’t even know what Naruto was talking about. He was lost in his thoughts. Speaker seemed to be on equal power, perhaps more, with the Kage. At least in Konoha. To have the power of a god backing you up. He smired.  _ At least it would be an ironic ending for  _ him _. _

“Sasuke, what did you talk about?” Naruto was back to sitting next to him. He was intently staring.

“What?”

“In the smoke! When you went all out-of-body!” Naruto insisted.

“Oh. Yes. I’m going to be Speaker. For Konoha. Most likely.”

Naruto looked confused. It was probably the look Sasuke saw on him most. He then looked like he had a huge revelation. Second most common look.

“That’s what Ino said, but, I can do it, too, right? Like you’re not doing it alone?”

“Naruto, I never wanted you coming with me. Go away.” Sasuke sighed, “Clean break, new country, I’ll give you money.”

“What does that even  _ mean _ , Sasuke? You wanted me to stay? In Kumoga? Sasuke, I came because we are brothers! You don’t have to do everything alone!”

“Yes, I do. Yes, I bloody do. So, I don’t care where you go, just get away from me.”

“I should just go back to Itachi. That’ll be fun. We have lots in common. We could talk about our brother betrayed us.”

“IT WAS HIM. IT WAS HIM, NARUTO.”   
“Yeah, yeah. I know. Look, Ino said I could. I’m coming with you.”

“You’ve been saying that for years.”

“I know, and I’ve followed through?” Naruto laughed, “All five countries! I’ve been with you.”

“You’ve been chasing me.”

“We both know that’s not true. You wouldn’t have made it half as far without me.”

Sasuke groaned, “You know what? You’re right, just go back to Itachi. He’d love it.” He got out of his chair and left Naruto sitting in his restaurant in shock.

 

_ I hate him. I hate him and his stupid vendetta. I hate him and his whole MUST AVENGE thing. I hate him. ARGH.  _ Naruto kicked the stool over. Ichiraku’s was technically closed today, so he didn’t have to worry about customers coming in and seeing him. His boss was awesome. But…  _ Dang it, Sasuke. Can’t you just let me  _ help  _ you.  _ He grabbed Sakura’s still fill bowl of ramen and slurped it down.

 

Sasuke had no idea where he was going. This was not a good plan. They had just got here, what, a week ago? Something like that. Time rushed by when you aren’t doing anything but training. The room he had been staying in was in the upstairs of Ichiraku’s. He needed a new place. The sun was setting and a chill was already in the air. He could probably set something up out in the woods, but he’d rather have a bed. He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. A bar it was.

“Don’t do that.” A voice from behind him called.

Sasuke hadn’t heard anyone approaching. Only one person could do that.

“Itachi.” He ground out, turning around.  _ Why is he here? It’s impossible for him to be here. Why is he here? _

 

The Temple looked so small from the outside. Sakura and Ino walked through the torii. “You can talk now. No one can hear us.”

Ino snorted, “I know. I just thought you might need some more time to think.”

“Yeah, well, there isn’t anything to think about.”

“That is such a  _ you _ thing to say.”

“Listen, Ino, I don’t really know, okay. I get why you were mad at me. I get that. It was probably my fault.” Sakura sighed and raked a hand through her hair, “But I don’t know what you want me to do about it. Especially now. You can’t be Speaker again. I can’t change the past, despite the myths. And, I don’t know, it just won’t work.”

“And why can’t I be Speaker?”

“You just ignored everything else I said? Right. That is such a  _ you  _ thing to do.”

“You’re ignoring me now.”

“You can’t be Speaker because you’ll distract me. And then decades will pass, and you won’t age, and the humans will pick up on it, even with their tiny life spans. And then they will come for you. And you might die this time, okay, Ino? Like see it from my point of view. I don’t want you dead; I’m being nice!” Sakura’s voice was getting louder.

Ino laughed, “Listen forehead, I was fine last time.” Her look darkened, “Until you ran me out.”

“I didn’t run you out.” Sakura said. But she might as well have. It was...100? 200? 300? years ago, Sakura didn’t know, she lost count. She could have stopped them. She could have fixed the problem in so many different ways. Made Ino look different, so she looked like a different Speaker. Tell the people that Speaker’s would have extended lives. Just protected Ino. Appeared. Cared.

“Yeah, okay, whatever. Just can you…”

“Ehem.” A cough. “I’m still here. If you recall. I’m staying. At the Temple. And also trying to sleep.”

Sakura rubbed her forehead, “Sorry, Tsunade.” Why was she saying sorry? Tsunade was scary. Ino and her were still in the gardens, they hadn’t even entered the Temple yet, so she had no idea how Tsunade got there so fast.

“Hey, hag.”   
“What’s up, Ino? How was your trip to hell? Feel free to go back.” Tsunade retorted.

“Nah, I plan to be here for a while.”

“Yeah, we’ll just go to my rooms.” Sakura said, dragging Ino away. Tsunade didn’t say anything, just nodded and headed back to wherever she came from. 

Entering the Temple was odd. Every time. Even after thousands of years of walking through the doors, the spark of magic that exploded through her body gave Sakura chills. She assumed everyone else felt the same thing, but she had never asked and no one had ever brought it up. The inside did not match the exterior at all. The outside was very classic and traditionally built and kept. The inside (where no one was allowed, so Sakura was free to use whatever magic she liked) looked very minimalistic, one long white hall, with black tiled floors, and black doors every so often. At the end of the hall (the distance to the end was indeterminable, distance was warped inside the Temple) were two red, iron doors. That was the Lord’s room.

Sakura pushed them and they opened immediately. There is no point in describing the rooms, as the look changed every time she saw them.

Ino collapsed into the first chair she saw. “You’re dead set on those two?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I already answered that a hundred times, Ino.” Sakura sighed and pulled up a chair to sit in herself.

“Alright. Okay. Fair.” Ino didn’t say anything else for a bit. The room lapsed into an awkward silence. “So, why is Tsunade still here?”

“Because, honestly, I have no idea how to kick her out. And there isn’t really a point to kicking her out, so…” Sakura shrugged, “Why bother?”

“Have you officially removed her from her position yet?”   
“Oh, that ceremony thing? It’s an antiquated tradition, I was kind of hoping people would just forget about it.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen, humans are traditionalists.” Ino laughed. “You’re going to have to do it before the Hottie and the Cutie can become the Speaker.” She snickered, “Also, there’s two of them, how do you think that’s going to go over with the humans?”

“Eh, I’ll just, like,  _ appear _ all glowy and godlike and be all ‘The Sun and the Moon have been summoned to Earth to be my Regents’ and they’ll dig it.”

“They do look rather celestial.”

“Haha, they do.” Sakura smiled. The silence they now encountered was much more comfortable. It was a familiar peacefulness.


	4. Everyone is depressed and needs to get drunk except for the antagonists, yeah they are happy, life sucks doesn't it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all are really drunk and emo tbh. Well there is no point in you reading this trash now.  
> No please read it. I'm begging.

Tsunade strolled of the Temple grounds. She didn’t really want to be here if Ino and Sakura had a fight. She had never seen them together, but she knew the history.

* * *

 

_ Drafted into the army at 12, she came from an extensive medical background, she had helped in her grandmother’s apothecary from the moment she could walk. Her impression into the military was due to the first of Konoha’s civil wars. The Speaker and Hokage of the time, Danzou and Hiruzen, were the leaders on each side. During the first war, when she was 12, Tsunade found herself on the Hokage’s, Hiruzen’s, side. It was just a matter of where she lived. She went through more training to become a good field medic. The First Civil War was over when she was 17, she barely went out in the field. _

_ The Second Civil War, though, when Danzo the Speaker tried to usurp Hiruzen as the Hokage, Tsunade found herself on the side of the Speaker. She was...34? No, 35, when the Second war was in full swing. She was once again drafted into the army. _

_ This was when she met Sakura. Tsunade had built up through the ranks quickly, it was easy for a person with her skills and ambition. She became Danzo’s personal advisor and physician. She entered the Temple grounds regularly. But never the actual Temple. No one was allowed inside but the Speaker theirself. _

_ But Tsunade was curious. _

_ Because who wouldn’t be? A giant building no one was allowed in? Please! It was begging to be explored. _

_ So, she sneaked in. The feeling is still and always present in Tsunade’s mind, an absolute rush. It felt like all the energy in the universe was running through her. It was beautiful. _

_ The inside of the Temple was incredibly boring though, it was just one large room, with a red door at the end of it. Tsunade remembered walking through it. _

_ On the ground was a tiny person. So small, crumpled up, unmoving. _

_ And that was how they met. Sakura and Tsunade. Sakura’s life, her energy, was directly tied to the wellbeing and faith in Konoha, her country. And they were dying. So she was dying. _

_ Tsunade fed her with her own energy. Keeping her alive. In exchange, she told Sakura that she would become the next Speaker after Danzou. Sakura didn’t seem to care. _

_ Tsunade sliced his throat that night. _

_ The loss of a leader had the Speaker faction of the civil war struggling. Few months later, the war was over. _

_ Tsunade met with Sakura. _

 

_ “I’m not ready to be Speaker, yet.” _

_ “Um...okay.” _

_ “But I will be. When I come back the position is mine. Don’t give it to anyone else while I’m gone.” _

_ “How does that make sense?” _

_ “Just pretend to be the Speaker yourself for a couple years.” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “No.” _

_ “You owe me one.” _

_ “No, I don’t.” _

_ “Yeah, you do. You would be dead.” _

_ “Ha. I’m a  _ god _. I would not have, nor will I ever, die.” _

_ “Sakura.” _

_ “Fine. Go be a nomad or whatever. But not too long, or I will get bored and pick a random Speaker again.” _

_ “Thank you.” _

 

_ Tsunade was barely 40 and she was done with humanity. She had been a doctor for decades, a war doctor, on the front lines, and she was done.   _

_ So, Tsunade left. She left Konoha, and every other one of the nations. She explored the undiscovered world, and it was the most fun she had ever had. She was completely alone and free. _

_ Somewhere in her exploration she meant Ino. _

_ Tsunade didn’t mind that Ino was a bakeneko, so Ino didn’t mind that Tsunade was a human. _

_ They travelled, and formed a shaky alliance against the world, together. It was full of insults and irritation, but an alliance nonetheless. _

_ Then Tsunade told Ino that she would be leaving her, and returning to Konoha; to become Speaker to Konoha. When Ino found out Tsunade’s connection to Sakura, she told her story to Tsunade. As a warning. _

_ But Tsunade returned to Konoha, and Sakura, anyway. _

* * *

 

It was late when Tsunade walked to Jiraiya’s ‘home’, easily past midnight. She hadn’t had a house visit with him in years. He lived in the back of a business shop. She pushed open the door to the store, swirling a tendril of magic down to undo the lock. It swung open easily. Everything was darkened, though this should be the prime hours for a shop like this. She climbed the stairs to Jiraiya’s room. She laughed as she did so, nothing had changed. Same decorations. Same atmosphere.

Tsunade yawned, reaching the top of the staircase. She pushed the door into his room open, “Hey, Jiraiya, whacha doin’? Leaving the store front abandoned?”

“What are you doing here? Isn’t it after your oh so spiritual curfew?”

“Eh, I think Sakura is kicking me out of the Speaker role.”

“You think?” Jiraiya wasn’t even looking up from his work, he was scrawling in his notebook.

“Nah, she actually said it this morning. Nothing official yet, though.”

“You’ve had it far too long anyway, you hag.” Jiraiya snarked. He wasn’t used to Tsunade coming to see him. It was usually the other way around. He lived on the cusp of the red light district. Not exactly the wisest place for the Speaker to be seen.

“Right, at least I am actually doing something worthwhile.”

“I am insulted by the implication that writing erotica is not worthwhile.”

“You would be.” Sakura sighed, dragging a chair over to his desk to see what he was doing. It wasn’t what she expected.

“It’s a letter to my godson.”

“You have a godson? When did that happen?” Tsunade asked, looking over the paper’s. Privacy was an illusion, anyway.

“Found out about him last year.”

“For someone who never shuts up, you are being irritatingly mysterious right now.”

“Yeah, well, maybe it’s personal.” Jiraiya snorted, finally looking up at her, and closing the notebook. “So what’s up with you, why are you here?”

Tsunade stuck out her lip, pouting, “Can’t a girl come visit her best friend?”

Jiraiya snorted, “Girl? Try senior citizen.” Tsunade smacked him.

“You love me.”

“I loved you when you were gorgeous.”

“I’m still gorgeous.”

“With an ego and self-confidence, though, not very appealing.”

“Shut up, Jiraiya. You should comfort me, I’m losing my job.”

“Do you have a place to stay after?”

“I’ve got more money saved than your tiny mind can comprehend, and Sakura is going to let me stay at the temple till the ripe, old age of ‘I’m dead.’”

“Yeah, I thought so, even the Lord herself is too afraid to kick you out. That’s  _ fantastic, _ Tsunade.” Jiraiya finally stopped writing the letter. He stretched his arms above him, yawning. “So that’s the only reason you’re here? To whine to me about losing a job you didn’t even like? Not only that, but you get all the benefits without any of the responsibilities.” Jiraiya looked at Tsunade like a light bulb had gone off, “Is that why? Did you just come to brag? I knew it, you hag, I hate you.”

Tsunade laughed and punched his arm softly, “I really did miss you, you know.” She rested her head on his shoulder, “I’m so tired. I think it’s good Sakura is getting a new Speaker, everyone knows I’m terrible, I just look good compared to the last few.” She snorted to herself, letting her eyes slide shut.

Jiraiya just shoved her off, “Yeah, well, I’m bloody tired too, stop whining.” He stood up, grabbing his back as he did. “When did we get so old, Tsunade?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about. I am a spring chicken.”

Jiraiya laughed, a proper one, rich and full, filling the room, “That you are.” He walked to the closet, next to his small bed, “Are you going to stay the night, cause I’ve got a futon?” Alarmingly, he next waggled his eyebrows, which was slightly terrifying in and of itself, “Or we could always share the bed.”

Tsunade ignored him and just yanked open a drawer at the desk, “Where’s the liquor? I’m not ready to go to bed yet. Let’s drown my sorrows! And don’t say you don’t have any. You still have  _ that  _ hair, and no one could have  _ that  _ hair and be sober.” Jiraiya ran his hand over his head, disgruntled, but still saying nothing.

“Come on, you fat, old pervert. I’m sinking into depression, we can’t have that, can we?” Tsunade laughed, halfway between bitter and sad. She eyed her best friend, calming down, “I don’t want to think anymore tonight, let’s go find a couple beautiful girls, and a couple hundred shots.”

“Okay.”

* * *

 

Sasuke swallowed hard, turning around, so, so slowly. “Hey, Sasuke, how have you been doing?” Drunken singing exploded from the bar Sasuke was standing in front of. Lights glowed warmly, invitingly. The new voice he heard ruined that all though. He looked around, looking for the body that should accompany that singular voice. Sasuke didn’t say anything, just ground his teeth together slowly, there was no one there. “Sasuke, I’m appearing through a chakra manifestation through the Kyuubi. I’m down here.” A black fox, flecked with grey and white slunk out into his view.

He almost laughed. Of  _ course _ .  _ WHY NOT?  _ Why  _ not _ have his brother be a fox? Why not an eagle? A cat? How symbolic would that be? Ha. The black fox just looked at him, sitting down in front of him. “Language was invented for a reason, Sasuke, use it. Not everything can be conveyed through glares.” The fox’s mouth wasn’t moving, but Sasuke could hear Itachi clearly.

“Itachi.” The revelry inside the bar was getting louder, the shriek of one woman stood out particularly, it was possible she was laughing, or being murdered, Sasuke wasn’t sure which.

“How’s your relationship with the little sunshine kid going? You two were so cute.”

Sasuke tried to say something, but all that came out was a strangled choking sound. The woman inside the bar shrieked again, it felt like she was laughing at him.

“Well, that was clear.” The disembodied voice sounded amused, the fox just sat there, without movement and completely expressionless.

“Kyuubi told me you have been talking with Konoha’s Lord.”

“Well, he’s wrong.” Sasuke whispered, finally finding his voice.

The voice laughed, “Alright. Well, in this purely hypothetical situation where you may or may not be considering to become Konoha’s Speaker, let me give you a piece of advice.” The voice got colder as the sentence came to a close, all trace of humor gone.

“What?”

“If the younger brother of the Raikage and Speaker of Kumoga,” Sasuke rolled his eyes at the titles, “becomes Speaker of Konoha we will have trouble. Not just you and I, Sasuke. I will not allow Konoha to stand. Right now, they don’t matter much to me. Konaha is tiny and worthless and poverty-stricken. But I will not allow you to lead them. I will not allow you to leave Kumoga so permanently. I have dealt with your insolence and childish behavior in stride, I’ve let you have your little adventures, but you cannot set up a home for yourself away from Kumoga. You can’t make an enemy of me, Sasuke.”

“I was under the impression we already were,” Sasuke curled his lips up into what have may have been intended to be a smile, “ _ Itachi. _ ”

“You would be dead, Sasuke, if we were.”

A voice erupted from the bar, louder than all the other sounds combined. “ _ ALL OF YA SHUT UP, AND THERE’LL BE ANOTHA ROUND ON ME, YA GLORIOUS BASTARDS!” _

“I’d go take advantage of that, if I were you, Sasuke. You look like you could use a drink.” The voice stopped, and the fox got up, turned around and walked, slowly fading with each step. Sasuke watched until the fox, until Itachi, was completely gone.

Sasuke rubbed his forehead, he was so tired, not physically, but in every other way possible. He was hesitant to follow Itachi’s advice, even though that was his plan from the beginning, but he finally found himself pushing open the door to the pub. He listened quietly for a few seconds, trying to catch the voice of the the person who had been shouting a few mere seconds ago. The voice came from a tall, broad man, ridiculous hair and two red triangles painted onto his face, sitting at the bar. His arm was slung over a redhead with glasses, chattering away at her. She gave him a disgusted look and stood up walking away, clearly irritated with something the man had said.Sasuke sat in the stool next to him, “Two things, first: I’ll take you up on that offer. Second: You have better luck with that black haired girl in the corner. She keeps eyeing the dance floor, she probably wants to dance, but is too shy to ask anyone herself.”

Triangle man looked at him in surprise, then his view slid over to the fidgeting woman in the corner, “Hey! Thanks, man! Whatever you want, on me, bro.” He didn’t even glance at Sasuke again, already making his way over to the woman.

_ Sorry, miss.  _ Sasuke thought, signalling to the bartender. “Bourbon.”

An hour later and Sasuke was just starting to feel tipsy. He didn’t have any money to buy his own drinks. He’d left everything with… Sasuke  swallowed and drained the last of the beer in his glass. He’d been mooching drinks off people who came up to hit on him.

Triangle man stumbled up to him, “Yo, I gotta thank you, bro. I think I’m gonna get laaaid tonight!”

“That’s great. Buy me a drunk to make it up to me.” Sasuke grinned.

“Totally, one for my man here.” The bartender eyed both Sasuke and Triangle man a little warily, but poured a beer anyway. Sasuke finished it in one swig.

“Well, I’m gonna go now, brother, but listen up, you cool. I dig you. Live your life.”

“Yeah, will do, thanks.” Triangle man stumbled away to the shy woman, while Sasuke rolled his eyes, he turned around last second, “I’m Kiba, brah.”

Sasuke lifted his empty pint, “Sasuke.”

“See you later, Sasuke. I owe you.” Kiba laughed as the black haired woman wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a sloppy kiss on his jaw.

Kiba didn’t owe him anything, so Sasuke just smiled in return, watching him leave with the girl.

Sasuke turned back to the bartender and winked, the tender laughed at him, straight in the face, “I’m the only sober one in this place, not your best bet for free drinks.” Sasuke shrugged and swayed to the blaring music.

* * *

 

Naruto collapsed into bed, with a screaming into his pillow, “I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. IHATEHIM. IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM. SO MUCH.” Naruto was not good with words.

_ It’s been years. I don’t even know how many years it’s been, but it’s been a long time.  _ Naruto sighed and flipped over. The ceiling was painted a dark blue, speckled with white paint; an abstract view of the night sky. When they moved in, Sasuke had listed out all the constellations on the ceiling, acting like he knew exactly what he was talking about. Teuchi, the owner of Ramen Ichiraku, then proceeded to come in and tell them that his daughter had just put the white spots wherever she thought they looked pretty. Cassiopeia my arse.

Sasuke had turned a very bright red.

It was cute.

Naruto smiled to himself, remembering. He wasn’t sure why Sasuke always did that, had to act like he knew everything, it didn’t really matter to him. If Sasuke was an idiot, Naruto would still love him.

Because that was the core of it really. Naruto loved Sasuke. Not romantically, exactly, just pure, innocent love. It was so frustrating to have Sasuke push him away, constantly.

They had known each other since they were little, fat, cute kids. They had met when the Uchihas were assigned to the protection of the Uzumaki family; the family of the Raikage, Namikaze Minato. Twenty year old Uchiha Itachi was assigned to the protection of 14 year old Naruto. Itachi’s little brother, Sasuke, followed him everywhere. Naruto and him eventually becoming friends.

At least, Naruto had always thought they were friends, and, usually, he thought Sasuke felt the same, but sometimes, Sasuke would just be so cold, so freaking ice cold, and it  _ hurt _ .

Naruto let his eyes slide shut, he wondered how Sasuke and he were going to become the Speaker of Konoha. He didn’t even know where the Temple of Konoha was. Was there any arrangement to meet Ino and Sakura again? He didn’t remember one. Oh well. Sasuke probably had something planned out. He usually did.

Naruto’s head was killing him. He reached under the bed and pulled out the clear bottle. He uncorked it and took a gulp, wincing as it burned down his throat.

He wanted to get drunk, he was feeling too many emotions at once, and just wanted to stop feeling for a little while.

Anger. So Angry.

“Just get away from me.”

Sad. So cripplingly sad.

“Naruto, I can’t take it any more. I need to leave. Come with me. Come with me.”

Happy. Ecstatic.

“We’ve been together forever. We’ll be together forever.”

Disappointment. Such sinking disappointment.

“Yes! Yes, okay. Just YES, I have to do everything alone, because I can’t trust anyone else to do it, not even you, Naruto.”

Love. So much love, filled with love.

“It’s just you and me. Ha. You and me against the world forever.”

Anger. So Angry.

“You’ve been chasing me.”

So Angry.

“Naruto, I never wanted you coming with me.”

So Angry.

“Go away.”

Anger.

“Just get away from me.”

Numb.

Numb.

Nothing.

Absolutely...nothing…

* * *

 

The red gold of his hair shone as Itachi ran his fingers through it. “You’re being lazy,” he mumbled, “You should get up. You have a country to run.” The man lying with his head in Itachi’s lap just hummed happily.

“That would be you, babe. Your country. You were the one who was all, ‘Noooo, I gotta be both Raikage and Speaker, because of reasons that you can’t understand.’”

Itachi laughed, “That’s not true. It was your idea. Plus you promised help.”

“Mmmm. Well, whatever.” He pulled Itachi down for a soft kiss.

“Kurama.” Itachi whispered against his lips, “Get up. We need to go run our country.”

Kurama sighed and propped himself up, “But do we reeeaaally have to?”

“Yeah. We really have to.”

Kurama pecked him on the lips again, “There are lots of sweeter things we could be doing.”

Itachi nodded, “I agree, like making profit, and planning murders.”

Kurama grimaced, “Why do I like you? You have a terrible personality and you don’t like sex. You’re failing two out of my three requirements in a partner.”

“Really, I thought I just had to be gorgeous.”

“Well, that’s the third requirement, and you pass that one with flying colours.”

Itachi laughed and kissed Kurama again, “Really.”

“Yeah, really, enough that it makes up for your shortcomings.”

“Oh, my Lord, I am glad you deem me a worthy mate.”

Kurama snorted, “Yeah, if there were any mating going on.” He just laughed when Itachi punched him.

Itachi finally stood up, “Well, I’m going, and I expect you to come too.”

“Alright, alright.”

They were in a field, with sky blue grass and a warm sky, and puffy clouds. A lone, white door just stood in the middle of the field. Itachi opened it and walked into the inner hallway of the Kumoga Temple. Kurama grabbed Itachi’s hand as they walked through the corridor, he rolled his eyes, used to his partner’s overly touchy-feely attitude. Reaching the end of the hall, they opened the second door, and were in the country of Kumoga. Exiting Kurama felt the jolt through his body, “You really don’t feel that?”

“No. You ask me that every time we go through the door.” Itachi smirked, as he let go of Kurama’s hand to open the gate out of the Temple gardens. They would be going to the Raikage’s office today. He suspected Sasuke was going to ignore him and become the Hokage. He needed to make plans.

“Yeah, well, I don’t get how you couldn’t possibly feel it, it’s like getting struck by a bolt of lightning.”

“That would kill you.”

“No, that would kill you, I’m a god.”

“No, you’re an arrogant slightly larger than average fox. Who would probably have a breakdown if I died.”

“Yeah, I would, so don’t die.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. I must achieve world domination first.”

Kurama smiled, slinging an arm over Itachi’s shoulder, “Love you, babe.”

“Love you, too.”

They walked the rest of the way to the Kumoga Capitol Building in relative silence, Kurama occasionally stopping to chat or wave to someone, the best Itachi did was shoot smiles, but they were always genuine and soft.

Kumoga loved their Raikage, Speaker and Lord almost as much as their Raikage, Speaker and Lord loved them.

Before entering the Capitol Building, Kurama grabbed Itachi’s hand once again, “Just till your office?”

Itachi laughed, “Whatever you want, my Lord.”

“It’s really irritating when you do that.”

“That’s why I do it.”

“Of course it is.”

A page, who couldn’t have been more than twelve years old, ran up to the pair. “My Lord Kurama, Raikage Uchiha, um, the, um, uh.”

Itachi glared with irritation, and Kurama smiled in an oddly terrifying way, “Spit it out.” They both said in harmony. The leaders’ of Kumoga’s one flaw: patience. It didn’t exist.

“Konoha. Lord. Letter.” The page shoved the letter into Itachi’s hands before sprinting away.

“Remind me to fire him later.” Itachi muttered, opening the letter.

“Will do, babe.”

Itachi’s eyes widened. “Oh, my god. She’s crazy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.  
> I absolutely love comments, so special shout out to all those who comment, but honestly, with every kudos, bookmark, even hit, I get so excited, so I genuinely thank you.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> 


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